On Saturday, August 4, all across this great nation, I call upon Americans to express their complete indifference to Chick-fil-A and this entire non-scandal. Participants in Chick-fil-A Indifference Day are encouraged to have no opinion whatsoever about Chick-fil-A on Saturday, and to not really think about it at all, and to avoid eating there unless you’re driving by and feel a little hungry and wouldn’t mind a chicken sandwich, in which case you could eat there, but only for non-political reasons, and only if there wasn’t a better place next door.
Join us! Let waves of boredom and indifference about mind-numbing non-scandals wash across America. Our time has arrived! Stand up, speak out, and say nothing!